Masquerade! This song is very staid
Went to see Phantom of the Opera and was highly entertained.
Act I:
Carlotta: I willa displaya humor valua as displayed by a really thick Italian accent, as well as an actual operatic soprano so you can lament the lack of other operatic voices throughout the entire movie. Also, I have a doggie. My work here is done.
Firmin and Andre: Who can we get at short notice? We'll take the recommendation of the ballet instructor, who clearly is the foremost authority on operatic voices. Also, she kinda scares us.
Raoul: She may not remember the rich, handsome, totally eligible viscount, but I remember the orphan chorus girl.
...Let's do it, let's fall in looooove...
Christine: Can't tonight, sorry, I have a Secret.
Meg: What's your secret?
Christine: The angel of music has come to me and gives me music lessons, and some really awesome drugs. In return I heave my bosom a lot. I'm on a great high right now.
Phantom: Come to me, angel of music...
Christine: Boy, this is the best high ever! You can tell by my total
glassy-eyed stare and my willingness to follow you into a dank smelly
tunnel. Now I will heave my bosom.
Phantom: Whatever works. Hey, look at me! I am SO cool that I have candles that go up and down in water just for the heck of it. And a cool cave, just like Batman! Well, ok, maybe not just like.
Audience: You just wish you were as cool as Batman.
Christine: The Phantom loves me not just for my beauty or voice but for my keen intellect even in the face of mind-numbing drugs. For example, I have deduced that because he is wearing all black and a mask that he is not actually an angel but is rather the Phantom of the Opera.
Phantom: Yeah, whatever you say. Nice bod. Speaking of which, let me sing you a song of seduction.
Christine: *This* is the music of the night? It's pretty lame. This song is boring and your voice kinda sucks. You sound a little like Madonna trying to be a Broadway star in Evita, except she could probably sing lower than you. At least you can sing the high notes.
Phantom: You are getting very sleepy. Also, here are some more drugs.
Christine: Ooh.
Christine: *heaves bosom*
Christine and Dave's mom: *fall asleep*
Christine: *wakes up* Where are you hiding the drugs? Maybe behind this
mask thing.
Phantom: Damn you!
Christine: I am so not impressed, but I will heave my bosom to and
fro. Gimme more drugs.
Phantom: Let's go back to the theater.
Andrew Lloyd Weber: Hey, look at me! I am SO cool that I can write a song where lots of people are singing at the same time! Just like Mozart! Well, ok, maybe not just like.
Audience: You just wish you were as cool as Mozart.
Me: I must shamefully confess that, despite the fact that this song has the same stupid tunes and awful lyrics as the rest of it, I kind of like its pretentious combining of voices.
Rest of Audience: Cretin.
Dave's mom: *snore*
Christine: Quick, the Phantom is very dangerous, so let's go to the last place he would be able to spy on us-- the Opera roof!
Raoul: You know, I never loved you for your intelligence, but you never loved me for mine either. Let's go.
Christine: His voice filled my spirit with a strange, sweet sound... And I heard as I'd never heard before...
Raoul: You're in love with the Phantom's voice?
Christine: No, that would be silly. With whoever does the audio mixing of his voice, duh!
Raoul: Let me sing a love song to you in a voice that is much more gorgeous than the Phantom's.
Christine: Nice voice, nice bod, totally rich, nice horsies, doesn't kill people... Sure, let's go out, sounds great. As a bonus I will heave my bosom for you.
Raoul: Awesome.
Phantom: I will do something terrible to you! Er, except I don't quite know what. Excuse me while I take many months to think about it.
Act II (unfinished):
Various Singers: Masquerade!
Paper faces on parade!
Masquerade!
Lemonade!
Pink and yellow, different shades!
No one cares what you sing
As long as it rhymes with Masquerade
Because this is a dumb song
And no one is listening anyway. Ade.
Phantom: I am so cool. I wrote an opera.
Christine: You took several months to think of THAT?
Act I:
Carlotta: I willa displaya humor valua as displayed by a really thick Italian accent, as well as an actual operatic soprano so you can lament the lack of other operatic voices throughout the entire movie. Also, I have a doggie. My work here is done.
Firmin and Andre: Who can we get at short notice? We'll take the recommendation of the ballet instructor, who clearly is the foremost authority on operatic voices. Also, she kinda scares us.
Raoul: She may not remember the rich, handsome, totally eligible viscount, but I remember the orphan chorus girl.
...Let's do it, let's fall in looooove...
Christine: Can't tonight, sorry, I have a Secret.
Meg: What's your secret?
Christine: The angel of music has come to me and gives me music lessons, and some really awesome drugs. In return I heave my bosom a lot. I'm on a great high right now.
Phantom: Come to me, angel of music...
Christine: Boy, this is the best high ever! You can tell by my total
glassy-eyed stare and my willingness to follow you into a dank smelly
tunnel. Now I will heave my bosom.
Phantom: Whatever works. Hey, look at me! I am SO cool that I have candles that go up and down in water just for the heck of it. And a cool cave, just like Batman! Well, ok, maybe not just like.
Audience: You just wish you were as cool as Batman.
Christine: The Phantom loves me not just for my beauty or voice but for my keen intellect even in the face of mind-numbing drugs. For example, I have deduced that because he is wearing all black and a mask that he is not actually an angel but is rather the Phantom of the Opera.
Phantom: Yeah, whatever you say. Nice bod. Speaking of which, let me sing you a song of seduction.
Christine: *This* is the music of the night? It's pretty lame. This song is boring and your voice kinda sucks. You sound a little like Madonna trying to be a Broadway star in Evita, except she could probably sing lower than you. At least you can sing the high notes.
Phantom: You are getting very sleepy. Also, here are some more drugs.
Christine: Ooh.
Christine: *heaves bosom*
Christine and Dave's mom: *fall asleep*
Christine: *wakes up* Where are you hiding the drugs? Maybe behind this
mask thing.
Phantom: Damn you!
Christine: I am so not impressed, but I will heave my bosom to and
fro. Gimme more drugs.
Phantom: Let's go back to the theater.
Andrew Lloyd Weber: Hey, look at me! I am SO cool that I can write a song where lots of people are singing at the same time! Just like Mozart! Well, ok, maybe not just like.
Audience: You just wish you were as cool as Mozart.
Me: I must shamefully confess that, despite the fact that this song has the same stupid tunes and awful lyrics as the rest of it, I kind of like its pretentious combining of voices.
Rest of Audience: Cretin.
Dave's mom: *snore*
Christine: Quick, the Phantom is very dangerous, so let's go to the last place he would be able to spy on us-- the Opera roof!
Raoul: You know, I never loved you for your intelligence, but you never loved me for mine either. Let's go.
Christine: His voice filled my spirit with a strange, sweet sound... And I heard as I'd never heard before...
Raoul: You're in love with the Phantom's voice?
Christine: No, that would be silly. With whoever does the audio mixing of his voice, duh!
Raoul: Let me sing a love song to you in a voice that is much more gorgeous than the Phantom's.
Christine: Nice voice, nice bod, totally rich, nice horsies, doesn't kill people... Sure, let's go out, sounds great. As a bonus I will heave my bosom for you.
Raoul: Awesome.
Phantom: I will do something terrible to you! Er, except I don't quite know what. Excuse me while I take many months to think about it.
Act II (unfinished):
Various Singers: Masquerade!
Paper faces on parade!
Masquerade!
Lemonade!
Pink and yellow, different shades!
No one cares what you sing
As long as it rhymes with Masquerade
Because this is a dumb song
And no one is listening anyway. Ade.
Phantom: I am so cool. I wrote an opera.
Christine: You took several months to think of THAT?